This post will soujnd a little bitter, but if I am honest with myself that is probably how I feel 🙂
My friend B’s son is in the hospital with a potential fatal tumor, and while I don’t know his son (and feel awful for his son!) my first instinct was to visit Friend B for moral support. To be honest, I didn’t want to visit since I battle fatigue and my own health issues, but he did not visit me when I was in the hospital for a week with a potential fatal lung disease; but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to be the better person and to go, except I spent he a busy week with family commitments and frankly I am exhausted. So I texted him I wouldn’t make it. Out of curiousity I went back and checked my texts/emails from when I was miserable and battling lung disease, and not one of my three childhood friends (including B) checked in with me the entire six months i was sick. Not even a “How are you doing” although Friend B reached out to ask if I co uld help plan a surprise party for another friend. What I learned then was that I truly have two great friends who visited and brought food – but my childhood friends were no help.
So, I have this to say: I will not be visiting my friends when they are sick. I wish them all the best, but am not going to put myself out visiting. True friendship is about support, and I’d rather invest my time and energy where the support is potentially mutual.