There must have been 30 or 40 couples at Sister K’s shower. THe guys started out at a local pub to have beers and watch football while the women did the actual shower and gift exchange, etc., then we all met up later at our house for a party type thing. During the day, wife M set up the house with a lot of help from Daughter L and some assists from me. The party started at 3 and at 2 or so a couple of K’s friends arrived to help with final preparations. I need to relax on weekends due to my illness but that was in short supply of course, so at 2:30 I snuck upstairs and fell into an immediate, heavy, dreamless sleep for 25 minutes before teh first doorbell woke me up and I headed out.
K seriously scored on the gifts, and her friends were excited for her. She has been nervous and going through some emotions about being pregnant, so I think the excitement from the shower was good for her. It was a very nice evening, even for me, who does not like parties anymore (but support my wife hosting them and try my darndest to have a good time, since it is not fair to expect her to give them up :)). Everyone once again expressed dismay that I have health issues, since I look so fit and healthy.
I had time to talk to K’s friends T and M, twins. I never knew them that well for years but the last two parties I’ve had time to talk to them and I really like them – they are good, interesting people – and wife M and I rave a lot about them after parties. I also really love K’s friends T and L, who are good friends to her and have been for much of her life.
The day started out really rainy but by late afternoon the rain turned to heavy clouds, so it wasn’t too damp/wet for the actual event.
K got your latest ultrasound today for her twins. They are 2.8 pounds and 2.5 pounds and look healthy (. = ounces)! She is due in December but they told her she will likely deliver in mid-November, so just 2 months to go. It is our first nephew/nieces and our kids’ first cousins, so we are very excited.
The shower is scheduled for this weekend. Normally, that would mean free time for me (read: football) but men are included in this one so I will be enjoying a few mocktails with the ladies this weekend 🙂
My sister was implanted with donated (fertilized) eggs today, which means hopefully she could have a baby by Christmas! I am super excited and have been checking in with her, but my wife M thinks I should play it down, since there is a realistic chance the eggs won’t take, leading to disappointment/pressure for her if we are too excited. But my fear is this: when we *aren’t* excited for her, when we aren’t cheering her on and rooting for her, she might feel alone…
When I was battling lung disease most people were afraid to ask me how I was doing. They might ask my wife privately, but they never asked me. Which made me feel so alone while fighting a potentially fatal and emotionally devestating disease (devestating, because it took away so much of my identity, such as extremely high energy and terrific health). I don’t want to make that mistake with other people – I’d rather make the mistake of asking too much, or showing too much interest and having her tell me to back off, then to not ask at all and have her feeling privately isolated.
Along the same lines, she has been feeling emotional and alone through this two year process, which has included hormones, fertilization tests, etc. etc. She said at breakfast a few weeks ago that it is hard not to feel alone. Believe me, I get it – I never felt so alone as those months I was recovering from my disease. It took me a few months of therapy to recover from that – I suggested she get therapy, but I don’t think she will. Which is too bad – therapy took me from feeling utterly alone and devestated to feeling very grateful for being alive, something I don’t think I could have done on my own.
So I will moderate my approach, but will continue to check in. And to keep my fingers crossed that in nine months I’ll have my first nephew/niece.