I love depressing movies with hope

I continue to think on how much I disliked the movie Lion and the character in it.  Why?  Because I like people who perservere, and don’t like being around mopey people.  

Take Casablanca.  Here we have a heartbroken character who continues to suffer, but he suffers in silence while still running a bar. Elsa also is heartbroken, but tries her best to move forward.  The prince, held in a prison camp before escaping and loses his home (and realizes his wife shacked up with another dude when she thought he was dead) but continues to press on.  Resilience!

Or in Manchester by the Sea.  A brother is given 5-10 years to live and is a single dad, but continues on.  Lee suffers a horrible tragedy, but still presses on.  Everyone presses on the best they can.

But in Lion, the main character wallows. He quits his job, and drops his girlfriend and spends his days wallowing in a dark room clicking at a laptop.  Depressing!  I hate that.

I also have found that I don’t like watching the character Jesse in Breaking Bad.  I like that he is nonviolent and actually a pretty good kid, but there are many scenes where he just sits and wallows.  Again, I hate that.  I find myself fast forwarding through his scenes when I rewatch an episode.

So I am realizing I love grim movies where people press on.  I think that comes from my childhood, where I had a mom whose family suffered from debilitating depression, which was difficult to see, but also a dad who refuses to ever look at the dark side, which was a powerful example for me.  I don’t blame depressed people for being depressed or even suffering so much they can’t function – depression is an awful disease that can’t be helped.  But that doesn’t mean I want to watch it on the big screen. 

I love depressing movies with hope

It is a challenge to not remember what I read but on the plus side I am always getting to experience something anew :)

For most of my life, I was a *very* slow and highly-selective reader, but remembered everything I did read.  I not only remembered nearly everything I read, but often could recall the page and location on the page of where I read something, plus the date and where I was when I read it. But there were two keys:

  • I had to be interested in what I was reading.  Luckily I was interested in many things, such as history, science, literature and human interest stories.  But I wasn’t interested in anything technical or mechanical, biology, or my teachers’ odd obsession with Hinduism (it seemed like every year we studied Hinduism).  Ironically, because I was a slow reader, I often did not read what I was assigned in school, but rather flipped around to read what I was interested in.  For example, the class might be studying about President Taft but I would see a piece about Abraham Lincoln, so would read the Lincoln piece instead).  
  • It coudn’t be read to me.  For whatever reason, I have a hard time comprehending something that someone reads to me unless they are a professional or trained reader.  Story hour for me has always been hell. 🙂

I always loved reading comprehension tests – I was always the last person to finish but generally scored in the top percentile.  I didn’t really have to try — it just happened. But…

Since coming off prednisone I am struggling to remember what I read, most astoundingly numbers and years, which I was especially good at before.  I really have to work at it, and have to keep reminding myself of what I read.  Honestly, it makes it challenging, and dips into how much I can learn, since I am always having to review what I re-read.  Is this what it is like for the average student?  If so, no wonder so many kids hate school 🙂

But I refuse to give up – one thing for sure is if I stop reading, it won’t get better — plus in some ways it is nice to keep reading about a topic I am interested in and always learning something new when doing so 🙂 

It is a challenge to not remember what I read but on the plus side I am always getting to experience something anew :)