Ond of the things I try to be respectful of as a manager is that when someone from my team leaves, I stress that I’d love to stay in touch (unless they were not a good person and I showed them the door), but I don’t pressure them to stay in touch and give them their distance (although once in a great while I might send a random note that simply says hello an dhope you are well). So when my team reaches out to me, especially as the months go by, I feel flattered and happy. The past two weeks not one not two but three people I used to manage reached out to me to ask if I’d like to have coffee/lunch and catch up, and the thing is they know I am not in a position to hire right now which means it is reasonably genuine. I love hearing from my ex-team, since I truly care about them!
Dexter’s sister looked up to Lunde. She liked him, and respected him. She was learning from him. So I was disappointed when he slept with her. No, I’m not disappointed in the script/writing – if anything, it would be expected. But I am disappointed in the character. Maybe it is my teaching background, but when I mentor a young woman, especially one who works for me, I’d never defile that special relationship with sex. I feel like people need safe relationships, one where they don’t have to worry about sex, and a mentor/mentee relationship is a special one that in particular needs to stay away from that.
L was one of my Sales Reps. During the time she reported to me, she was agreeable and enthusiastic. Her texts and emails to me were a lot of exclamation points and expressions of gratitude.
Now she is a Buying Manager for one of our clients. And it is funny communicating with her. The exclamation points and the enthusiasm have gone. I’d never ask her for business in a million years (that’s not my style), and honestly have never made an unsolicted call to her, but she did call and offer us business which was nice. But when she talks to me she has that robotic and neutral voice that so many Buying Managers have.
Honestly, it’s disheatening in many ways. I could care less about her business, but I do invest a lot of time and energy into my employees (I truly care) and I hear things like “Best boss ever” (which I take with a grain of salt considering they have a vested interest to say that when working for me) but 9 times out of 10 when they leave I don’t get/hear much from them again.
When I taught and when I coached, it was different. Even years later, my grown students still saw me as teacher and former players saw me as coach. But management doesn’t mean the same – its impacts aren’t as permanent.
I am fighting the urge to wonder why I care about my team so much. But then again, I do owe it to them the do the best I can while they work for me. And recently I was contacted by a company who’d spoken to my former employees who’d mentioned I was a favorite boss of most people who report to me. So maybe the impact is there, just not visible. And I don’t do it for the visibility, I do it because I care.
Human nature is funny.