For me, there are many crummy things about chronic illness, but the second worst of them all — after fatigue — is brain fog, i.e. the much harder challenge of keeping a clear thought.
Time was before my illness that my brain would whir to life and I could quickly motor off anything I needed to. Ask me the strategy to something, and I’d leap up on the whiteboard and starting jotting ideas down. But now, keeping clear thoughts is difficult. Answering any question that requires me to go into the memory bank is a challenge, and anything with some uncertainty or complexity is a challenge unless I have time to process. Spelling? I used to be great, because I would literally picture the word in my head and recite what I saw, but now I don’t see the word and am kind of stabbing in the dark.
Needless to say, this has made my job as an analytical sales person in a cutthroat industry hell. But I think I’ve developed a list over the past few years that has helped. I’m not 100%, or even 90%, but I’m getting better and I’v adapted.
Checklist in OneNote. OneNote is good because it’s free and I can access it from my computer, iPad or iPhone. What I do is make a checklist of each item at the office I have to get down, then I break it down to how much time to spend on it. For example: Answer emails – respond during morning coffee. Send out follow up reports from yesterday – 30 minutes. Send out status check note to 500 customers – 20 customers a day… I’ve noticed this is important – I’ll lose paper lists, or I start moving things around until it gets messy (I can cut and paste); also, I can keep a template that I copy and paste into a new Tab every day so every day I am starting with a fresh checklist. Plus, my razor sharp memory no where I was on a task has evaporated, so now I can search in OneNote to find out what I’ve done on something.
Stick with the Checklist. It is tempting that if I come to complexity in my checklist to pass it off until later. For example, if “Respond to email” includes an email that involves research, my temptation is to push it aside until later the day. But I’ve learned I need to take a short break, grab another cup of coffee, return and take the steps needed to complete that email. If I push it off, I start to get overwhelmed and fight the urge to shut down. So even it means taking a pause while I gather my energy, I do nothing else until complete that next task.
One Thing At A Time. My days of answering email while on a conference call, or making a phone call while waiting for my computer to re-boot, are over. So I have to focus on one thing at a time.
Take Breaks. The days of crazy 12 hour days are over. I have to take several breaks during the day to make sure I maintain the energy needed to keep brain fog at bay.
Accept the Inevitable. I will never be as crisp, sharp and productive as I once was. I can’t compare myself to the old me, which thankfully was 200% of most people (honestly). Instead, I have to focus on doing the best I can with what I have now. I this were a five-card poker me, the old me had six cards to choose from, the new me has 4 cards to work with (versus everyone else’s 5). I can’t worry that I used to have 6 or that some have 5, I just have to do the best I can with 4 and realize that I won’t win as much as I used to. That takes some pressure off.
Lots and lots of coffee. There is no way of getting around the fact that coffee is the new normal for me at the workplace. If there are side effects so be it, but I have to have the energy needed to keep my job and pay my bills. On the days where I need an extra burst of energy, I take a caffeine pill and pray for a “good” day.
My two cents. Since life gave me lemons, I’m doing the best i can to make a decent lemonade. (I’ve had to relearn how to do my to do list – I used to do it mostly by memory and prioritization, but that’s not possible anymore, and too long of a checklist is overwhelming 🙂 ).