I’ve been really tired and sore the past few weeks but this weekend I started to feel a little better. I think we were on vacation a few weeks ago and I overdid the hiking (hiked 20 miles one day, more than I intended, and hiked/biked every other day for several hours each day) then ended my vacation two days early to fly out to client meetings and which required me to get by 3 days in a row with less than 5 hours of sleep (not good when I have chronic illness). Then on top of that, Wife M was prepping for the MCAT and I think it was a heavy stress hanging in the house for several weeks. At any rate, her test is done, I got an extra day of rest, I even took a couple of naps between social events on Sunday, and I just starting to feel a little less achy and a little less exhausted. In a word, phew. It is truly awful feeling exhausted.
Finished Handmaid’s Tale season 1. Elizabeth Moss is a great actress – it didn’t dawn on me how much different June is than her Mad Men character until this morning, she did it so effortlessly. It is amazing how religious zealots doing “right by God” can oppress, rape and kill people so willingly. Can’t wait for season 2
Very tired this week. Think from all the travel.
Wife M and Daughter L made banana chocolate chip bread yesterday – I’ve had like 10 slices.
Studied The Thirty Year War: In 1618, The Holy Roman Emperor Ferdinand II began imposing Catholicism in Central Europe, resulting in uprising and igniting a major religious war that would last until 1648. The uprisings were crushed, but ignited a greater series of conflicts that eventually involved most of the major European powers over a 30 year period. The people of Germany – where the war primarily took place — were especially devastated through looting and civilian casualties, and by the war’s end there were more than 8 million casualties, there were major shifts of power, France emerged as the new world power and the Netherlands emerged as a new world power during what would be called The Dutch Golden Age.
Wife M and I started watching Better Things, about an actress and single mother juggling her career and 3 teen-age daughters. It is endearing and hilarious.
Daughter L’s friend is struggling at her house again. She will likely be living with us again soon. I love that she has a safe house to come to, and that Daughter L and Wife M welcome her.
Our oldest is going through some serious emtional (depression) issues for the past six months, and especially the past two months. Will go days without getting out of bed, and has resisted therapy (except hormonal therapy prescribed by her dubious “doctor”) but now is open to seeing someone. I will start on this. I’m not looking forward to it, since I battle chronic fatigue and it’s all I can do every day to seem “normal” (I wish I had a nickel for every time a close friend tells me they forget that I have a chronic disease).
It is really hard to have a child going through this, the not getting out of bed for days, which strikes too close to home for me (my mom’s family is prone to this). Although I myself have battled depression at times, no one would suspect it and I make an extreme effort to keep fighting through those days best I can and in my entire life had only had maybe 1 day where I could not get out of bed (after staying out with friends till 7 AM, I slept and watched sports all the next day 🙂 ). Even after my lung surgery, I spent my days walking the hospital (with my IV and oxygen tank in tow 🙂 ) rather than laying in bed.
I’m not upset with my child, I just want to be able to help her. I don’t have the time or energy for this, but will have to carve out time/energy. 😦
The past week and a half I’ve been exhausted. I hate getting out of bed in the morning, and dread looking for work during the day. Why? I don’t know. I just am. It might be a cycle in my chronic health issues and fatigue, or it might not be – I just have to continue to fight through it, althought it is exhausting fighting through exhaustion 🙂
Mom and dad flew Wife M and I down to Arizona last weekend to visit with them in there new place. It has been wet and windy in Seattle so it felt great to get into warmth and sun for a few days, and mom and dad really spoiled us at the same time (took us to dinner, breakfast, etc.). It was a nice weekend away and a much needed break, although I’ve been pretty tired this week (although wife M is telling me I’ve been really tired for awhlie now; hopefully it unrelated to the new spot in my lung :)).
Speaking of lungs, I see my lung doctor next week, and am hoping the new spot they found in my lung last spring has resolved itself. Have been truly drenching my PJs and sheets at night the past few weeks (have gone from waking up damp to waking up pretty wet) and again am hoping it is unrelated.
Am very very very sore and exhausted lately, almost walking around like I am in a fog. The last week by 8 PM I am done – humorless, introverted and tired, and I wake up in the morning unrefreshed. For the second time in a week yesterday, my nerves were bothering me (tingling in right arm and ankle, feet falling asleep, dizzy). Need to make a rheumotologist appointment but honestly, I am just too tired 🙂
Presidential debates? Elections? Wall street? I am having a hard time caring right now. Why? I am too tired and think there is something going on with my health. It is hard to leave things in the hands of others but it is one of those times I have to care of my health and re-group. I hope there is a special place in hell for the corrupt who need to be watched at all times, including corporate lobbyists, officials who are influenced by said people, and corrupt business people. Why? Because there are people who are not able to take care of themselves, and so are vulnerable to these people. They are like a foul spider preying on the weak.