The benefits of being sick before friends…

This post will soujnd a little bitter, but if I am honest with myself that is probably how I feel πŸ™‚

My friend B’s son is in the hospital with a potential fatal tumor, and while I don’t know his son (and feel awful for his son!) my first instinct was to visit Friend B for moral support.  To be honest, I didn’t want to visit since I battle fatigue and my own health issues, but he did not visit me when I was in the hospital for a week with a potential fatal lung disease; but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to be the better person and to go, except I spent he a busy week with family commitments and frankly I am exhausted.  So I texted him I wouldn’t make it.  Out of curiousity I went back and checked my texts/emails from when I was miserable and battling lung disease, and not one of my three childhood friends (including B) checked in with me the entire six months i was sick.  Not even a “How are you doing” although Friend B reached out to ask if I co uld help plan a surprise party for another friend.  What I learned then was that I truly have two great friends who visited and brought food – but my childhood friends were no help.

So, I have this to say: I will not be visiting my friends when they are sick.  I wish them all the best, but am not going to put myself out visiting. True friendship is about support, and I’d rather invest my time and energy where the support is potentially mutual. 

The benefits of being sick before friends…

Norwegian Day Is Not My Favorite Day

**My personal opinion only, and I live and let live*** Today is Norwegian Day, or something like that, and here in Ballard we have some big Norwegian Day parade that has been in existence as far back as I remember (1970s).  I am half Norwegian, so you’d think I’d like this day, but in all honesty I don’t.  When I think of Italians, I think of shouting and hugging and good food and family, when I think of Irish I think pubs and stories and green, but when I think of Norway I remember all the depressed, cranky, sarcastic Norwegians in my childhood and the cranky Norwegians I encountered on my one day trip to Oslo.  Maybe it was the neighborhood, or maybe it was just the Norwegians I knew, but the Norwegian Day Parade does not conjure fond memories for me — I am much more proud of my Scottish and Irish blood (albiet it is a very small percentage of my heritage). 

Norwegian Day Is Not My Favorite Day

It is so hard to have a depressed family member

Our oldest is going through some serious emtional (depression) issues for the past six months, and especially the past two months.  Will go days without getting out of bed, and has resisted therapy (except hormonal therapy prescribed by her dubious “doctor”)  but now is open to seeing someone.  I will start on this.  I’m not looking forward to it, since I battle chronic fatigue and it’s all I can do every day to seem “normal” (I wish I had a nickel for every time a close friend tells me they forget that I have a chronic disease).  

It is really hard to have a child going through this, the not getting out of bed for days, which strikes too close to home for me (my mom’s family is prone to this).  Although I myself have battled depression at times, no one would suspect it and I make an extreme effort to keep fighting through those days best I can and in my entire life had only had maybe 1 day where I could not get out of bed (after staying out with friends till 7 AM, I slept and watched sports all the next day πŸ™‚ ).  Even after my lung surgery, I spent my days walking the hospital (with my IV and oxygen tank in tow πŸ™‚ ) rather than laying in bed.  

I’m not upset with my child, I just want to be able to help her.  I don’t have the time or energy for this, but will have to carve out time/energy.  πŸ˜¦

It is so hard to have a depressed family member

Did not like the movie “Lion”

Saw Lion at Sundance Theater with Wife M.  

The theater was *packed*, with all showings sold out and loooonnnnnggggg lines at the cocktail bar.  But it also added to some of the fun, and we met a nice woman a little older than me while we waited, and talked about our favorite movies of the year (all agreed that it is Moonlight, so far) and the shock of Trump’s decision to ban muslims from the country (another woman turned around and said she couldn’t believe that this is the modern US doing this).  Our new friend made the comment how awful it must be for Trump’s wife to have sex with him, how she must just closer her eyes and remind herself that it (sex) will soon be over and she now has all that money πŸ™‚

The movie Lion was disappointing. It started out with a great premise — here was a poor family in India whose young son steps on a train that takes him 1000 miles away – it is something I can picture happening and what is worse picture the horror of everyone involved.  

But sooooo much of the movie is formulaic and predictable.  And half the movie is the man wallowing and clicking on the computer while his codependent girlfriend tries to keep him grounded.  At least 10 minutes of the film is watching the boy speed on the train (we got it after a minute) and another 15 minutes is shown with the man clicking on the computer in misery, as though watching a man search Google Earth really can be all that interesting.  Finally, the symphony music plays the entire film without a break.

What is disappointing is the movie could have been so much more.  As Wife M said, what if it were told from the mom’s point of view?  She is poor and loves her family, and one day her two boys don’t return home from searching for food – every parent’s worst fear.  Then she gets word that one of the boys was found dead (the worst!!) and the other has not been found (torture).  So she spends the next 20 years praying every week, riding the rails whenever she can to search for her son.  In the meantime, because she has two less mouths to feed, she can now afford to send her two surviving children to school for better lives (what a bittersweet moment the graduation must have been).  Then, after all realistic hope has been lost for 20 years, her boy arrives again as a grown man.  Goosebumps!  And could have been an inspiring movie for those poor paretns of missing children.

I get why people cried in the film – it is a tear jerker when the mom and boy are reunited to symphony music in the background — but the movie pales in comparison to Moonlight and was not a great investment of 75 bucks for movies, parking, etc.

Did not like the movie “Lion”

Daughter L won student of the month

We attended a community (rotary) luncheon where Daughter L was awarded student of the month. She is one of those great teens who doesn’t get a lot of attention because she is low maintenance (but on the other hand all the attention she gets is generally positive), so it was nice that she got some attention yesterday, and also she gave a thoughtful speech where she talked about the perspective she’s learned in school.Β  I was happy for her, that all the blood sweat and tears she puts into school was recognized yesterday.

Another student who was there (was student of the month at another school) was impressive: she gave a thoughtful and heartfelt speech, wants to enter the Army or Marine Corps since her family all did that, then attend law school and become a District Attorney to give a voice to all people.Β  I loved that. I hope she keeps that passion.

Daughter L won student of the month

Wonderful Christmas week 2016

We started Christmas week by attending the Nutcracker as a family.  It was a surprise since we didn’t think we could afford it this year, but wife M bought discount seats in the upper back and cooked dinner at home (normally we go out to eat).  It was a pleasant evening, all of us dressed up, and we took N, who is living with us t his year.  

Christmas Eve Eve was spent at a party with friends.  The friends are good and social people, so have good and interesting friends, and we enjoyed our time there.  I met Leo, who is from the Phillipines, loves to motorcycle and is planning a trip to Oregon this summer.  I also spent time talking to Steve and family, who we’ve known for a very long time and didn’t know we were both friends with the host. I also spent time speaking with John, who is from Puyallup, works as a consultant and whose family is heading to Bend for a week of skiing.  There was amazing homemade eggnog, whose alchohol was distilled by the person who brought it, people singing carols and lots of chit chat.  One of my favorite things about the hosts is they have many friends, and everyone always asks how we know the hosts.
Christmas Day was pleasant.  We slept in, then had Wife M’s sister and mom over for dinner and a movie (Krampus).  It was a nice evening with delicious food, and I was able to squeeze in a walk just prior to sunset, which may be my favorite time/moment of the year in Seattle, since it is peaceful and I love the way the light hits the surrounding hills.

Christmas Day, N was sick, so stayed home, but the rest of us headed up to MOm and Dads for Christmas brunch and dinner, with my sister and her family.  We had a wonderful day of food, family and interaction.  It was only the second time I’ve seen my nephew and niece J and P, who are now a month old.  I spent much of the day holding, feeding and changing J or P, and it was great to spend some time taking care of them and helping my sister get a break πŸ™‚  Babies are fun to take care of – they just need lots of love, and changing a diaper or walking them around and patting their back is a piece of cake (the hard part is the late night feedings, which I didnt ahve to do :).  

There was a small threat of snow/rain all weeekend, but overall it was a chilly, dry, cloud weekend.

Today I think is a holiday, since Christmas was on Sunday, but I am heading into the office for a few hours to make a showing, since I am out ext week.  

Wonderful Christmas week 2016

Christmas Party was a success last night

Wife M hosted our annual Christmas party last night, a party I don’t necessarily look forward to but also understand her need to have so support. She had to do a lot of the prep on her own this year, since were were gone last weekend and I had to work this week and she is on break.  It turned out well.  We had maybe 40 people there despite the Seahawks game, and it was all people we enjoy.  We had the food prepped by a local taco stand which was fun, and served Champagne mixed with a little tequila.  Everyone seemed tired, perhaps from the election, and the party was done by 10:55.  Our first party was six years ago, and it was special and memorable, and we expanded from that.

Christmas Party was a success last night