When I was a kid, my grandma loved spoiling her family. What I mean is, it gave her great pleasure to do the little things: make us wait in bed so she could warm up the house for us, wash our clothes for us, stop by with a little gift, make us dinner… She always loved doing that, and I always remember her doing that, and now that I am older and have autoimmune disease I am amazed that she could do that while battling Type I diabetes, which killed her (via stroke) at age 69.
My dad was like my grandma. My sister and I would often go to our rooms at night to find that our dad had turned down our bed, or he’d quietly slip us 20 bucks for a pizza, or he’d wash our car for us while we were sleeping. Little, forgettable things that expressed love.
When wife M and I were first married, and then when the kids were kids, I did a lot of those same things, I think. I’d light candles for M, put her PJs in the drier so they were toasty when she put them on, put a little extra treat in the kids’ lunch box, etc. Little things I don’t remember. Everyone does thos things I think, but I also am pretty certain that I did it more often than the average person. (Wife M does, too, which is probably another reason why we click so well, since we’re always spoiling each other 🙂 ).
But those things have evaporated since my illness in 2012. (I remember when M’s friend first commented to M about it in 2012, how there was a time when you didn’t have to worry about anything when I was in the room and now it was not like that at all, how it was like I was barely present. I remember how hurt at the time I was by that comment since I was in the throes of lung disease and prednisone at the time – but in retrospect, what she said is true, I am not the spoiler that I once was, and no longer can take pleasure from serving/spoiling people).
I miss doing those things for my family. And love those momentary bursts like last night where I was able to do that for my family. And really truly can’t believe my grandma was still able to spoil her famil when she was sooo sick with diabetes – I feel amazed and humbled by that.