My wife says I am a little jumpy lately, and she thinks it is because I have been in a lot of pain since trying to get off my pain meds. So today when in my work parking lot a tubby guy walked out in front of my car and then showed me up by throwing his hands up in the air after I waved “sorry” at him (I actually hadn’t seen him since he was jaywalking and coming out of my blind spot, but I was taking the high road and waving him on), I had to fight the very strong urge to get out of my car and curse him out. I grinned at him, then drove to my destination a few blocks away, resisted the urge to drive back (he was heading to the free ice cream truck where there was a line), and took several deep breaths. It probably took 5-10 minutes before the urge subsided.
I know I am not feeling well – in the months before my lung disease diagnosis, I got very confrontational with people I perceived to be rude, and that was how I felt today. Nothing good would have come out of my confronting him, so I am grateful that I used deep breathing to calm down while fighting against the urge to get out of my car. It was never like I was on the verge of confronting him, but I had a very strong urge to bawl him out and it was very tempting.
Ugh. I’m glad my calmer head prevailed.