Irony of facing “near death” experience is that I now believe there is not life after death yet I am even less afraid of death

After surviving (for the foreseeable future) a potential fatal lung disease, I don’t believe there is an after life.  I’ve had too many surgeries where there is literally no passage of time — where I am talking to the nurses on the way to operating room then literally it is suddenly 4 hours later and I am in recovery room but it doesn’t even feel like a moment later — to let me think I’ll be alert after death.  But at the same time, any previous fears of death I might have had are gone — I am not afraid of death, it being simply a phase of life.  Do I want to die?  Gosh, no!  But I don’t fear it, and the one time I was choking and thought that I was going to die I simply thought, “So this is it,” with detached curiosity.  I find that strange – I should be more afraid of death than ever.  But it is a marvelous gift, to enjoy life yet not fear death…  I feel blessed in that way…  Of course, I hope I am wrong, and that there is an afterlife – I certainly am not an expert and respect anyone’s opinion who disagrees.

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Irony of facing “near death” experience is that I now believe there is not life after death yet I am even less afraid of death

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